The Third Post – About Being Offended

Hello Everyone,

I just got finished doing a once over of the script, so I’ll be updating it on the script page.  I added some content that connects two parts of the story where I felt there was kind of a gap in continuity.  I also did some formatting and general proofreading.  So if you haven’t checked it out, definitely check it out now.

So, as I was going along with Misophonica, I found that I wanted to continue forward with this theme of acceptance.  There are so many different ways to demonstrate acceptance, I thought, I want to write more stories.  I love the characters in Misophonica so much that I didn’t want to let them go just yet.  I don’t think this is a sequel situation, but more of a triptych situation.  Three stories that are related by the characters but not sequential, you know?

So I started writing a new story featuring Mo’s sister.  Mo is one of the leads of Misophonica.  She visits her sister at one point in the story, but we never meet her.  I’ve gotten nicely into that story at this point, though it is much slower going than Misophonica had been.  I just got to a part where Craig, from Misophonica, and Mo’s sister (her name is Zo), go to an Evil Dead marathon at a theater and between films they’re at a bar.  They hear a girl talking about sleeping with another girl and it makes Craig angry because she’s talking about sleeping with girls like being gay is a choice.  And that gets him all riled up.  Then I realized that I’ve been finding offense in some things that I hadn’t maybe two years ago.

I work in an industry dominated by men.  I’m not singling out men here, but they are more prominent in my life.  Something that ends up being common in such circles are jokes or slights or cracks, both prodding and joking, that are quite offensive in the way orientation is perceived.  I’m not hating on anyone here, I’m making an observation.  The sensitivity to nonbinary people in this type of professional circle is nearly nonexistent.  I find it offensive.  Not let’s start a riot offensive.  It’s like an inside voice telling me, hey that was kinda shitty what that guy said.  And then I feel offended.

It could be like a guy cracking a joke about another guy standing near a lady’s purse, and he’d be like, oh nice bag, hahaha.  Like, it’s not okay for a guy to carry a purse.  I get it.  It’s uncommon for a man to carry a purse or a giant Coach tote or something.  But so what.  Why does that become a focus of ridicule or prodding?

Another situation I experienced recently was an assumption about my own orientation based on the fact that I was having a conversation about women, and the previous topic was my wife and daughters.  And some comment is made about how at least I like girls.  Well, sure, I do.  But the assumption that I’m completely straight arrow guy is offensive to me.  An assumption like that, in a professional setting, to some people might be a call to HR.  For me, I just internalize my offence and move on because I understand.  Not everyone has these ideas in their common brain.  They don’t’ recognize that maybe some people aren’t straight like you assume.  I’m not gay, but I’m not straight either, and you shouldn’t assume one way or another.

I’m not a proponent of labels.  I don’t want everyone to wear or have to wear labels saying how they identify themselves, who they’re romantically and sexually attracted to, etc.  I prefer we all are who we are and we each respect each other for all the possibilities that we could be.  Ultimately, this starts with education I think.  Acceptance of other people no matter how different they are from oneself is a whole different process, but education is where it begins.  That’s why I see YouTubers like Ash Hardell and Dr. Lindsey Doe so unbelievably important to the world.  They are both on a road to educate.

Acceptance is constantly on my mind.  I believe it’s the most important thing we can teach our children and each other.  Here’s one thought I’ve had lately.  This lack of awareness of the people around us and who they could possibly be.  Unless I know you very well, I am ultra aware of all the possibilities of you.  Staying inoffensive and accepting of the person you could be is very important to me.  That’s a message I’d like to convey to everyone.

Acceptingly Yours,

Matthew Raup

 

P.S.

Ash Hardell

Dr. Lindsey Doe

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